Our Crappy Holiday

Warning, this post is about potty training and therefore discusses bodily functions.
For our Fourth of July, we decided to take on the fun task of potty training (what better way to spend a long weekend, right?). Celia has been using the potty in the mornings when she wakes and at bath time for awhile. She just hasn't anticipated the need to go. So, I read the "Potty Training in One Day" book. The process is that you spend all day in the kitchen talking about the potty while giving your kid lots of drinks so you have many opportunities to practice actually using the potty. We figured, "why not try it?"

I prepared for today like I would any project, I made notes, prepared reminder sheets, bought the Potty Patty doll, the treats (candy, grapes, Cheetos, cheese), the special drinks (juice, Gatorade, milk) and the training pants. David read the book, too, so we could take turns. I talked to Celia all week about how she wasn't going to go to school on Friday because we were going to work on using the potty. We had previously told her that she can take dance lessons when she is potty trained, so she was VERY excited.

This morning, we ate breakfast and then I gave Celia the doll. She loved the doll. Then I gave her the new cotton panties (training pants). She loved them. Celia and the doll both changed from their diapers to big girl panties. Celia happily "taught" the doll how to use the potty. When the doll had an accident, she helped the doll practice going pee on the potty. Then Celia said she needed to pee and used the potty. "WOW," I thought, "this isn't going to take all day...maybe just an hour. I am so glad I have such a brilliant child."

Celia and I stayed in the kitchen following the process from the book. Suddenly, Celia said she needed to poop and ran to the bathroom. I was so glad she was catching on so well and followed her to the bathroom. TOO LATE. She had apparently not realized she needed to go until the deed was done.

Now I was faced with a problem, if the child has an accident, they are suppose to practice (before changing panties) by running to the potty, lowering their pants, sitting down for a second, raising their pants and repeating--10 times. The book even has a Q&A section where someone asks about poop accidents and it says to treat them the same. Well, with panties full of poo, that just isn't realistic. It also says that it is likely since the child will be potty trained so quickly, that they won't even poop during the training process, lucky us to be the exception to the norm.

Okay, so we skipped the practicing step. Next, the kid is suppose to clean themselves up with no help. I should mention that the consistency of Celia's accident was similar to the thick mud you might find in a face mask. You know the kind that you put on, let sit for 5 minutes and them almost have to scrub off because it is so thick? So Celia took off her panties which caused the poo to smear all the way down her legs. She then began using wipe after wipe trying to get the stuff off. I must admit, I ended up helping her a bit. Celia put on clean panties, we put the dirty ones in the wash and resumed training. At least we got the poop out of the way. Now, I gave her lots of liquids so that we could continue to practice.

An hour later, she still hadn't peed. We were sitting there and she said she needed to use the potty. When we got to the bathroom (which I will add is 2 feet from our kitchen table) and she pulled down her pants, it was too late. Crap, no really, she had pooped again. Since she pulled down her pants and sat down before we realized it was too late, poop was again smeared down her leg. This was not how the book said things should go. I called to the other room for David for help.

David instructed Celia on how to wipe the big stuff off and put the toilet paper in the potty. Celia finished cleaning up the big stuff, then got down from the potty and flushed it. Immediately, it started backing up. I guess all that paper and Kando wipes were just too much for it. David used the plunger and then took Celia upstairs for a shower. He made her clean herself up in the shower only helping by telling her where else she needed to wash. Celia put on new panties and a clean shirt and came back down stairs.

Celia was still in a positive mood about the potty training, thankfully. It was now lunch time, so we all ate lunch. All during this, we continued to do pants checks where you ask if the kid's panties are dry. Celia still had not peed since that first time when we started despite all that extra fluid she was drinking. She stayed dry during lunch and we encouraged her to drink more.

After lunch, David and I were discussing the training and laughing at how it was going-really, what are the odds that our kid on the day we decide to train would need to poo twice. Then Celia made a noise and we asked if she needed to go potty. She said no, but we checked her pants anyway...what? again? you have got to be kidding. She pooped again. This was definitely not in the book. David took her upstairs, put her in the shower and told her to clean up. As they walked up the stairs, David and I decided to abort mission. Three poos in three hours just isn't what we had signed up for.

I cleaned up all of our supplies (drinks and snacks) and put the training pants away for some other day. Then David came back down and asked for a pair of training pants. I stared at him blankly and he said Celia still wanted training pants. I reluctantly gave him a pair. Celia came back down stairs with her new panties and shirt on.

It was now nap time. We put Celia's mat on the floor on top of a towel. I asked before she lay down if she wanted to pee and she did, in the potty. Celia stayed dry through nap.

After nap, she and David went outside for him to mow the lawn. While he was mowing, she stood up and said she had to pee. They rushed in and to the potty. She peed as she was pulling down her panties. We practiced 10 times and she changed her panties.

An hour later, Celia was back outside with David barbecuing. She said she had to pee, stood up and said “uh-oh”. Too late. We practiced 10 times and changed panties.

We ate dinner. At the end of dinner Celia need to wash some food off her hands. She went to the bathroom to wash her hands and said, “I got pee-pee running down my leg”. We practiced 10 times and changed panties. Apparently, all the liquid I gave her this morning was finally making through her system. Oh, goody.

After dinner, I took Emme upstairs to eat and get ready for bed. As I was feeding her, I heard David say the following, “Well then, run, run………oh, Celia you pooped.” Yes, that’s right folks, she pooped again. My theory is that the very candy I was using (per the stupid book) to reward my child was giving her the poops. David’s theory though is that it is because her last molar is coming in (make a note new parents-teething sometimes causes extra saliva which results in extra poops). David took her to the potty to clean up and then took her upstairs for bath. All I could do from my chair nursing Emme was laugh.

While reading books for story time, Celia said she had to pee and she ran to the potty pulled down her diapers (we are not trying panties for overnight quite yet) and peed on the potty, hurrah...maybe there is hope. Or maybe she is just teasing us so she can poop in her panties again tomorrow.

So, that is it for today, folks. Celia is wearing a diaper to bed and I am planning on having a beer as soon as she goes to sleep, maybe a few. The current plan is to put her back into training pants tomorrow….we shall see. Stay tuned for another episode of adventures in parenting.